Bucks vs. Knicks Preview: Speed Date

Mary Langenfeld-USA TODAY Sports

How can you beat the opponent more effectively? You've got to get inside their minds. And what better way to get inside someone's mind than speed dating?

Like any team preparing itself for battle, studying up on your opponent and getting prepared for anything they throw at you is a must. Heck, the National Concussion Circus Football League has an entire practice squad dedicated to mimicry of the opponent's strategy. The more you understand your opponent, the more likely you are to succeed.

The question is, how do you get to know your opponent so well? Is it through hours of watching game film or reading lengthy scouting reports? Perhaps, but that isn't all of it. There has to be some other method of getting to know someone, say, on a personal level out there.

How about the refined art of speed dating?

SUCCESS! We shall speed date the New York Knicks! We had SB Nation contributor and Posting and Toasting editor Seth Rosenthal answer some common speed dating questions in regards to the Knicks. Hopefully this will allow for the Bucks to understand their opponent more thoroughly and pave the way for TOTAL BASKETBALL DOMINATION.

1) What do you do for work?

CAA

2) Where are you from?

New York!

3) What is the one thing about yourself that you would like me to know? (Team summary)

The rest of the East improved, and maybe we did, too! We lost some old guys via retirement and are down two great shooters in Steve Novak and Chris Copeland, but Beno Udrih, Metta World Peace, and Andrea Bargnani should be valuable contributors if used properly.

4) When was your last relationship and how long did it last? (How did last season end up for you?)

Well, it was the longest-lasting relationship we've had in a while. Our regular season went remarkably smoothly despite some bumps and bruises along the way. We even got out of a first-round series against the hated Celtics despite a scary rough patch that made it competitive for a second. Things fell apart when we met the Pacers and a combination of a bad match-up, injuries, and poor rotation management sunk us against a top defensive team.

5) What are you looking for in a relationship? (Do you think you'll be good peoples this season? How do you think you'll do?)

Just looking to beat the last one. We've retooled with that sad ending in mind, and we'd like to make it to the Eastern Conference Finals. It'll be tough. Probably tougher than it would have been last year.

6) What do you think is the most important value in a relationship? (Who or what is going to be the driving force behind that goal?)

Health. It's always health.

7 ) Do you want to marry or have you ever been married? (Do you have a shot at winning the title?)

We say we do, but things are pretty stacked against us.

8) Do you want/do you have any children? (Do you have/how are your young players?)

Just a few. Iman Shumpert is the most beloved son, though we worry our malevolent godfather has some vendetta against him and wants him disowned. Tim Hardaway Jr. and Toure' Murry are the new kids in the family, and they both seem like they could turn into productive gentlemen someday.

9) What do you do for fun? (Most exciting thing about the team?)

Shoot threes constantly. So many threes. A record-setting number of threes.

10) What are you most proud about? (strengths of your team)

We're pretty deep-- almost too deep-- and we feel healthier and more balanced than we did going into our last relationship. The injury list is much shorter this October, and we're taking measure to make sure guys like Amar'e Stoudemire and Kenyon Martin don't end up back on it. And while it's hard to imagine us offering as much in the way offense as we did last year, perhaps we can balance that by giving more minutes to competent defensive players like Iman Shumpert and Metta World Peace.

11) Is religion important to you? (Which player is the most demigod-like? A.k.a, who's everyone talking about?)

Yes. We worship at the altar of Shump. If the Knicks have a secret wild card that propel them back toward the top of the Eastern Conference, it is their one young person with two-way star potential. We will follow Shump to salvation or we will perish.

12) Do you follow politics? (What's a team issue that folks are split on?)

Yes, we get political. We bicker over the merits of the Andrea Bargnani acquisition and what type of role he should play. That leads to even more arguments about whether Mike Woodson should stick to the small, spread-out units he stumbled into with much success last season. We almost unanimously agree that Chris Smith joining the roster was a hideous bit of nepotism, but we know that's just how things work in New York.

13) Do you believe in love at first sight? *(...Do you (Seth)?)

Love? No.

14) What is your most treasured possession and why? (Who is one player on your team you'd never want traded ever ever ever ever?)

Shumpert. He's not the best player on the team and he may not pan out as expected, but he's the rare young player the Knicks drafted themselves, and it'd be really nice to see them develop someone for once.

15) Which is your favorite book/movie? (Compare team mindset to a book/movie, if you can)

Yeah I dunno.

16) Where do you see yourself in five years time? (team forecast)

Probably with a wildly different roster. The main question is whether Carmelo Anthony is still at its center.

17) Do you believe a cup is half empty or half full? Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Are you yeh!, meh, or bleh on this team?

Half full! I see a lot of potential in this roster, and I maintain faith that Mike Woodson can figure out what's best for them.

18) If you could travel back through time, what single mistake would you correct in life? (what, from last year's team, are you hoping improves this season?)

If you find an identity and it works, stick with that identity. Last season, the Knicks fell to the Pacers in part because they tried to emulate the Pacers. They must stay true to themselves, and hopefully a younger and deeper roster will permit such.

19) You have got six months to live, what will you do first? (One player you think could get dealt to/from your team this season)

A big person who can shoot threes and at least contest some shots down low would be awesome. Like a non-depleted version of last year's Rasheed Wallace. I dunno...Channing Frye?

20) If you won a lottery, how would you spend your millions?

Overpay a few people, then hand out savvy little minimum contracts to lots more people. Also SKYBRIDGES.

21) Which was the first crush you ever had? (Who is the favorite on the team?)

Pablo <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

22) Describe your perfect holiday. (Ideal season for the team. What would it look like?)

A championship with big wins against  some combination of the Pacers, Bulls, Heat, and Nets along the way. Perfect health for the established guys. Steps forward for the few developing guys. Carmelo Anthony opting out and taking a pay cut on his next contract. Lots of tasty cookies and juices.

23) What is the last CD you bought? (Just curious.)

I bought Lord Willin' at a record store in DC four years ago.

For our answers about the Bucks to these same questions, visit Posting and Toasting.

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