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Giannis Antetokounmpo protests vast Skills Challenge conspiracy by boycotting dunk contest (...just kidding!)

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This thing stinks like an onion. It goes all the way to the top. Giannis will not stand for such corruption.

Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports

For a "real" recap of All-Star Saturday Night, be sure to check out SB Nation's complete coverage. For the paranoid conspiracy theorist Bucks fans' take, strap on your aluminum foil deflector beanie and read on below.

In an act of bravery and integrity that will surely be remembered for decades to come, Giannis Antetokounmpo elected to boycott the NBA Slam Dunk Contest last night, responding to the shocking events that robbed his teammate Brandon Knight of a well-earned Skills Challenge title. While he was contractually obligated to compete in the event, Giannis elected to "throw" the competition, purposefully flubbing his first few dunks when he totally could have done something awesome had he wanted to. He just didn't want to, obviously.

Knight's crown was stolen by the ever present, shadowy, anti-Bucks-anti-small-market-anti-cold-weather NBA conspiracy engine/political machine, which determined that having an up-and-coming star from one of the NBA's smallest markets take home the Skills Challenge championship would be too damaging to the brand. Instead, the powers-that-be handed the title to Patrick Beverley of the big-market-star-laden-analytic-pushing Houston Rockets, a team whose general manager probably doesn't even, like, watch the games.

The sheeple watching Saturday night may not have noticed what was going on, but Twitter detectives quickly uncovered the ruse.

I guess if you're a global superstar like Patrick Beverley and your television market has enough households, you just don't have to complete every part of the competition? Is that it, Commissioner Silver (probably just a shill for Stern anyway)? WHERE DOES IT END?

Needless to say, Giannis, being the upstanding young gentleman he is, wasn't going to sit idly by while his teammate was denied the glory he earned. So when his turn came up in the dunk contest later that night, he made it clear to everyone that Milwaukee would no longer stand for these injustices. It was an act of tremendous courage, and I think those of us not blinded by the NBA's propaganda respected it. At least we'll always have the Antetokounmpbros.

With Giannis out of the picture, the NBA was left to scrape up what decent dunks it could find, like Zach LaVine's entries, which were alright I guess.