It’s the All-Star Break, which means there will be plenty of non serious topics that we talk about here on Brew Hoop. Our goal is to keep things light and loose. In the past we have seen if Giannis can fly, who each player would be on the Gilmore Girls and The Star Wars Universe (note to self: need to do an Avengers piece); we also had an award show for Giannis’ dunks. So sit back, relax, and enjoy this article that nobody asked for but everyone needs!
Milwaukee Bucks sideline reporter Katie George has hit the ground running with a great debut season with the Bucks. She has traded punches with Jim Pashke, Marques Johnson and Steve Novak on multiple locations while also mistaking wind chill with wind shield, but overall she’s been a home run addition. One aspect of her great start is a new series called “Pedicures with Katie” where, you guessed it, she goes and gets pedicures with a member of the Bucks. Her first guest was Brook Lopez, who brought his goofy charm to the salon. But who would be the best Bucks guest that should appear on the show? I decided to create a definitive, non-debatable, 100% correct power ranking system.
*Writer’s note: I did not include Nikola Mirotic due to not knowing much about his personality. A proper replacement was made.
Honorable Mention: John Henson would have been a great guest. He is a pretty laid back and funny dude and I think he would enjoy it.
14. Pat Connaughton
He’s not going to be able to jump so that takes the excitement out of it.
13. Christian Wood
Will there be subtweets or passive aggressive comments for playing time?
12. Sterling Brown
I don’t really picture Sterling as a pedicure guy. Now a barbershop would be a much different scenario.
11. Donte DiVincenzo
Same as Sterling, but maybe we would get a clip that the guys at High Noon could discuss.
10. George Hill
As I sat here and did these power rankings, I don’t think I've ever heard George Hill speak.
9. Malcolm Brogdon
I think he would be very professional with his answers. He also brings a soothing charisma.
8. Khris Middleton
I think Khris would be pretty chill and probably bring a ho-hum approach to the pedicure.
7. Ersan Ilyasova
Ersan has been in America long enough to assume he has gotten a pedicure at some point. He most likely would fall over mid-pedicure to draw a charge.
6. Mike Budenholzer
The facial expressions would create plenty more memes for us.
5. Eric Bledsoe
The jokes about him being at the salon during his “I don’t wanna be here” tweet would be great to see.
4. D.J. Wilson
His social media post after this gives him a boost.
3. Tony Snell
We all know deep down, Tony would be a sneaky good guest. He could bring the dry/deadpan humor.
2. Giannis Antetokounmpo
Yes, Giannis has the charisma and charm appropriate for the #1 spot, but I’m thinking Giannis has had a pedicure or two since living in Milwaukee. The occupants of the top spot were too good to overlook.
1. Jim Paschke & Marques Johnson
This would be the most ambitious crossover in the history of everything. The chemistry these three show is already top of the league among commentators, and each would have stories to tell that would allow someone to jump in and make a joke. If you haven’t seen these three interact during game broadcasts, you’re missing out.
So what do you think, was there a player missing from this list? Who are you most excited to see in the next episode? How correct was I? Feel free to leave a comment and happy All-Star Break!