FanPost

The New-And-Improved All Star Weekend



Disclaimer: Thanks to "the VAR giveth" for the inspiration in the NBA All-Star Weekend Open Thread!

Okay, folks. We've seen many attempts to spice up the NBA Vacation All Star Weekend. From the Elam Ending to the Skills Challenge, to the Celebrity All Star Game.

BOOOOORRRRRRINNNNNGGGGG.

I think I've got a slate that will make these exhibitions Must-See TV. Without further ado, behold: The New-And-Improved All Star Weekend!

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1. Charge-Taking Competition

Have an NFL running back in full pads sprint full court into all the renowned defenders who famously flop (errrr....I mean "defend") any comers. The "last man standing" (so to speak) wins. Prime nominees include such reputable thespians as Marcus Smart, Grant Williams, and Blake Griffin.

2. Ref Ruckus Royale

Can you persuade the officials that, ignoring the bloody appendage on the court, you indeed "Got all ball?" That, contrary to actual video footage from all angles, you most certainly "Got hacked?" Prove your persuasive skills to Judge Judy for the world to see! It's Court TV Meets NBA TV! Candidates include LeBron James, Jayson Tatum, Draymond Green, and Luka Doncic, with Brook Lopez making a cameo appearance as Bull the Bailiff from Night Court.

3. Wait, Are You Allowed In Here?

Are they NBA players, or are they their agents? They may not look the part, but boy do they get paid a lot to play (or watch) basketball games! Try to convince the general public that you're in the NBA, using a man-on-the-street style challenge! Contestants: Payton Pritchard, Matthew Dellavedova, TJ McConnell, and Jose Alvarado.

4. Most Punchable Face

Self-explanatory. MMA fighters hand-pick the "winners." Participants would certainly involve Marcus Smart, Grant Williams, and Blake Griffin. (See what I did there?)

5. NBA Commentators Pronounce "Antetokounmpo"

They (mostly) have a firm grasp of basketball knowledge, and (occasionally) display a passable usage of the English language. But what about the Freakiest of Oratory Obstacles? Losers must give Giannis a 50-piece of any food he wants. Obviously, we must bring in Stan Van Gundy, Charles Barkley, Shaq, and gently pull Marv Albert off his Barcalounger and into the fray.

What do you think? Which potential contestants got snubbed? What other events can we add? Please comment below!

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